Parenting has always been one of the most challenging processes in the world, because it requires efficiency, commitment, hard work and sacrifice. Nowadays a great number of pedagogical approaches to parenting are available to everyone, especially for those who want to create a wonderful family and bring up an all-rounded, clever, wise and at the same time kind-hearted child.
No matter what pedagogical approach you choose, you should put your heart and soul into this process. Every parent should sow the seeds of self-discipline, consciousness, diligence, civil responsibility and social adaptation in their kid. But it’s usually not enough; we should do all possible and impossible for these seeds to germinate in a quite short period of time.
If it doesn’t happen, then you’re on the wrong path. It doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible parent, because every human being has the right to be wrong. The main thing is to realize that your parenting style is not effective and sometimes even detrimental to your child’s mental and social well-being. You should keep in mind that the success, prosperity and wellness of your kid depend on your present mindset, choices, actions and behaviors.
By all means, don’t pin your faith on modern parenting styles and approaches without due considerations, because many of them are total myths that can lead both you and your kids up the garden. I hope this article will help you accept your mistakes and become the best parent in the world.
1. The authoritarian parenting style is the best solution to problems in upbringing kids
Unfortunately, authoritarian parents are not the ones who give their kids freedom to choose and develop to their fullest potential, because they’re sure that their pedagogical approach is the only correct one. This extremely strict form of parenting makes children either excessively obedient or turn them into recalcitrant revolutionaries who they refuse to dance to their parents’ tune all the time. I think that the only benefit of this parenting style is that it makes obedient kids good at following different rules and requirements.
Children raised by authoritarian parents will never become successful leaders, because they’re not used to act in one or another situation independently and lack confidence to make a serious step without somebody’s approval. Such children usually suffer from diffidence, the fear of uncertainty and punishment.
They waste a lot of life energy trying to live up to their parents’ expectations. Psychologists prove that sooner or later chronic stress within a family leads to a number of health problems. If you’re an authoritarian parent, but you want to bring up a happy child and live in harmony with all members of your family, choose an authoritarian parenting style instead of an authoritative one.
2. Parents should work hard to strenuously develop their kids
Today many parents tend to strenuously develop their kids in order to make their future life more prosperous. However, they don’t realize that this pursuit of excellence and big amounts of information can steal their kids’ happy childhood and make them unsatisfied with life. Instead of urging your kids to do things they probably don’t want or need, you’d better allow them much room and suggest the best potentials for their development.
3. Kids should grow up in a two-parent family
Everyone says that it’s better and easier to bring up a child in a two-parent family. Millions of married couples choose to live in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their kids’ happiness and prosperity. Do you believe that such a sacrifice will make the kid happier? I don’t believe since unhappy marriage is a constant battlefield where children suffer the most.
Whether your child lives in a single or two-parent family, you have all chances to make them happy and be satisfied with life. All you have to do is create a positive and favorable atmosphere in your family where all its members will treat each other with love and respect.
Children are very sensitive creatures, who can easily feel and understand that something is wrong in their family. The more negativity they absorb, the more reserved, insecure and diffident they become. There’s no interconnection between children’s happiness and family composition or social well-being. According to a research 87% of children who live in single-parent families state that they’re absolutely happy.
4. Parents should be the best child’s friends
I’ve always believed that it’s necessary to call things by their names. You’re not your children’s peer, but a parent who’s in charge of their life, happiness and safety. You should always remain an authoritative role model in their eyes.
Excessive familiarity and friendship can have a lot of side effects in future. People often say that friendship with children helps parents avoid the generation gap and it’s true in a way. But I’m sure that every parent can create a trusting relationship with their kids without friendship.
5. Children should live a life of luxury
This is one of the most serious mistakes often made by modern parents. Sure, everyone wants to bring up fully fledged and lucky children who’ll always recollect their childhood with pleasure, instead of suffering from numerous insecurities and old insults.
I don’t know why, but today modern adults believe that children who live in families with low incomes are almost doomed to failure, because they’ll have to surmount a great number of life challenges and barriers on their path to success.
It’s a myth. According to the statistics, many kids who grow up in better off families often turn into weak personalities, because they’re unable to cope with harsh realities of life without parents’ support. They usually lack ambitions and desire to struggle for a place under the sun, because they’ve already got almost all good things and comforts of life.
It’s strongly recommended not to protect your children from any financial difficulties on a regular basis. Let them deal with these problems at an early age. It will teach them to see things in a more realistic light and move towards their dreams regardless of everything.
6. Happy children never cry
Why modern parents are so afraid of their kids’ cries? They suppose that the child’s cries and weeping are the signs of inner psychological conflicts and sufferings. Of course, it can be a bad sign, but only if it happens very often or regularly. The shedding of tears is an absolutely normal response to kids’ emotional states.
Like all human beings children can have a bad mood and experience negative emotions, but it doesn’t make them unhappy. Don’t try to comfort your children whenever they cry, because they’ll just start manipulating you with crying and take an advantage of your kindness. Let your child cry it out if necessary. It will teach them feel, emphasize and keep their ego in check.
7. Children should be aware of their health
Modern mommies believe that their kids’ health awareness will help them prevent a lot of diseases. Well, this knowledge is useful and it may come in handy one day, but this medal has its dark side as well.
Medical advertisements, the names of diseases, their systems and other fearful things exert tremendous negative influence on the subconscious mind of a child. This excessive health awareness makes children pay too much attention to their both physical and emotional well-being. If your kids are emotionally sensitive then their health awareness and desire to become healthier will turn into an obsession in a twinkling of an eye.
As a result, these kids can become hypochondriacs and waste a lot of valuable time reading more and more info about various diseases and their symptoms. I think kids shouldn’t be concerned about their health. Living a healthy lifestyle and being obsessed with disease prevention are two different things.
Children are small yet extremely talented and smart personalities. Every child has a chance to become a highly successful and happy personality in future. Everything depends on the environment of the families they’re living in.
As a parent, you should love and support your kids in everything, but let them make mistakes and learn lessons from them. Never let your stereotypes spoil the quality of your child’s life. Do you think modern parents should give their kids more freedom?