I do not know what your relationship is with your parents. I am very fortunate that I have an amazing relationship with my parents. However, there are times when I feel like they are bringing me down, even as an adult. So here are some ways I act that might help you if you feel the same.
1. Honor and respect
Call me old school if you want, but I truly believe we should honor and respect our parents as much as possible. If your parents were abusive, I understand that can be difficult, but is there something about them you can respect?
Show them respect and honor by your interactions, words, and behaviors. Let them know you have high regard for them. The following ways will help you do just that.
2. Have a conversation
I think it is important for everyone to understand where each is coming from, but you can’t do that without having a conversation and letting each other know what you are feeling.
You can do this without using harsh words and getting angry, but the respect part plays a role here as well. Respect each other’s feelings without pointing fingers or making excuses. Just talk it out.
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3. Set boundaries
Yes, even parents need boundaries. Make your boundaries crystal clear so there is no gray matter involved. Everyone knows the expectations and does not cross the line. If you want your parent’s advice without them telling you what to do, tell them that. They will not know unless you place that boundary there.
Boundaries are not fences to keep people out. They are lines that create a safe perimeter for people to interact with each other without stepping over the lines. They allow relationships to grow and thrive rather than shutting people out.
4. Find the positives
Sometimes, I need to stop and think about all the positives I adore about my parents when they are bringing me down. This helps me put things into perspective. Is this issue that important when compared to the grand scheme of things, or do I just need to stop, and think about the great things they do and have done for me? When I do that, I find myself much more patient and loving in response to them.
5. Find common ground
Find something you all like to do together. I say this because sometimes you just need to take a time out and enjoy each other’s company without pressures or negativity. When you find common ground, everyone is happy. So, if you find something you like to do together, you’ll get to that point quicker.
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When your parents bring you down, think about these ways to behave. See if you can do these things, and if so, see how much of a difference it makes. You have to step outside of yourself for just a little while, but when you do, you’ll be much happier and your parents will be nicer to have around.